Unfortunately there is no upside to the tragedy of suicide. There are the victims that leave us, and the victims that are left behind. Sadly there is more than enough anger and torment left behind to touch everyone involved. That goes with the so many unanswered questions of why? As we that are emotional attached to that person ask ourselves why didn’t I see this ugly event coming? It’s like questioning ourselves over something like a bad weather event or an earth quake that we have little or no power to control.

There are also those thought to be crowned selfish for what they feel; yet hold on to quite valid questions of why would someone that cared about me, and professed to love me: betray me in such a heartless and brutal fashion? All these emotions are valid, and will surely be felt in a broad spectrum of intensity and measure.

I heard so many times from those sitting in the bleachers as unattached on lookers; tauntingly grumbling from those seats so ardently and articulately that those that commit suicide are weak and take the easy way out. I happen to believe that is so far from the lived reality, and in all actuality light years from the horrific truth. I also have been to that perilous edge many times in my life, and know all too well the anguish and agony that grabbles your mind in that delusional gloominess dark, moronic, painful, hopeless, and fragile state of unbearable Hell.

As you do Liz; I have suicidal idealizations fairly often. I have learned through time and experience to embrace those times and draw strength from them; as if I was drawing buckets full of life giving water from the well of existence itself, renewing and quenching with vigor and fortitude the very thirst for this precious gift of continued breath.

There are no satisfactory summations to be made for the act of suicide; just the scattered ruins of one more life left unfulfilled, and those trying to understand and pick up the remnants of their shattered being which is never completely understood or fathomed with any true clarity or peaceful resolution in our very heart of hearts.
I guess our only hope in limiting this horrific and tragic outcome of self inflicted death is recognition, intervention, and prevention. The stark and cold reality is that neither of those options will ever be foolproof or effective in all situations. Which is sadly obvious by what the menacing data and statistics bear out on this act; whichever study you wish to believe as most accurate or valid, the numbers are still staggering.

Stan, thanks for sharing. Beautifully said.