I don't know what's wrong with me. I cannot get past my obsession with this little bear. I've been watching him since he was incubator-tiny, and I've reveled in his progress and in his close relationship with Thomas, his caregiver. Every time I watch a video of him, I get really emotional. At first I thought it might be PMS, but even post-M I feel this way. I feel like ... like I love him. I know that sounds dumb, but it's true.

One time I was waxing poetic to my boyfriend about his brother. I was saying how great he was, and how much I liked his wife, and how great it was to visit with them. My boyfriend said, "I'm glad you like my brother so much." And I said, "I love him!" And then I realized how silly I sounded and I crawled under the table to hide.

Since that chagrin-filled moment, I've resisted pledging my platonic love. People are funny about non-romantic declarations of love--somehow that word feels too emotional in our cynical age. So to keep my cool, I no longer love anyone who's not in my immediate family. I like them and respect them.

But Knut. He's not only not in my immediate family, he's a polar bear. Yet I'm deeply moved by him. And I feel love, perhaps even more love than for my boyfriend's brother and his family.

I will continue to chronicle Knut's growth, given my personal stake in his future. So this is not just your typical cute fix. This is a love fix.

"Knut Day" in Berlin as polar bear cub goes public

[photo copyright Reuters/Hannibal Hanschke]