What a great description of despair and depression. And kudos to you for honestly describing it here. ECT is obviously a very serious decision and one which will always lend itself to second-guessing afterwards. People considering ECT should be fully informed of the negatives -- in addition to the hoped for positives. I'm sure this piece will provoke a lot of thought and cause others to educate themselves further before going down this road. Great job. And, I like the traditional classes - not boring at all!

Very well done Liz.

I had ECT in late 1974 - I think it was about eight seperate treatments in all, but I'm not sure. I don't think it was my choice to have the ECT, but I'm not 100% sure of even that. At the time, I was in an institution in Hartford, Connecticut - I had been there since the beginning of the year (I was charged with depression, and I think some other stuff as well). All I remember from the actual treatments is the rushing sound in my ears caused by the anesthetic prior to each treatment. I remember almost nothing from all of 1974. It was the year that Nixon resigned - I would've liked to have been there for that, but I only learned of it retrospectively, by reading and hearing things about it in later years.

I have some spotty memories from the year before that. Snatches of memory from the many different places I lived that year - Manhatten, Massachusetts, Colorado, and Minnesota. I remember watching the Watergate hearings on TV, while I was living in a crummy old broken down hotel in Littleton, Colorado. The year before that, 1972, was the latest from which I have anything close to normal memory. I remember different things about the places I lived that year - the part-time job I had in the fall, my last days of high school the prior spring and winter, voting for the first time and then hearing the disappointing election results. I remember a lot from 1972, but I also have forgotten a lot. Even for years prior to that the memories are mostly all sketchy and blurry, like a watercolor that someone has sat on.

While it can be nice to be a happy idiot for a short time, and while much of what I forgot was probably stuff I was better off not remembering, some of those lost memories were probably of things I needed to know, or would have been better off working my way through. I mean that some of the things that caused me trouble before the ECT were probably things that would cause me trouble again and again in the future, and I might have been better off learning how to deal with those kinds of situations rather than just forgetting them completely - only to face them another time as unprepared as I had been when I first encountered them.

There are some things I have trouble with that I think may be related to the ECT. I can't think on my feet (figuratively speaking) - I have to always ponder things for a long time before I can ever decide anything. When I finally made it into a university many years later, it seemed to take me longer to do the same amount of schoolwork as other students. I think that problem had a lot to do with my eventually choosing the relatively useless major of Communications, instead of pursuing something more challenging but potentially more valuable. (Before the ECT, my strengths had been more in the sciences - in 7th and 8th grades I had been in the equivalent of advanced placement math and science classes). And of course, there's the absent-mindedness.

Thank you so much for sharing this...

This is fascinating and I'm happy that you're here to share it! In the crazy world of celebrities and gossip, your blog is unique and so, so real! P.S. The glasses don't look that much different to me. As a girl who wears glasses and lives in Philly, you should check out Eye Encounters on Chestnut. They are cheap and have great stuff or check out the vintage ones at the antique co-op at 6th and Bainbridge.

I think both pairs of glasses look lovely.

1. Thank you for sharing this. It is important for people who are dealing with depression and who may consider having ECT to hear from people who have experienced it. While I'm sure it has been and must continue to be very challenging for you to deal with this, it is a great thing you are doing by sharing it with others.

2. Both glasses look great. There isn't a whole lot of difference. You may want to get a pair thatt is REALLY funky, because you could pull it off well.

Thanks so much for being courageous enough to share your story, Liz!

Being a sufferer of mental illness myself (although not severe, thank goodness!) i found your video to be really inspirational to me!!

I love the hip glasses, but the smart glasses are cool ;-)

Cheers!

Amelia