And I've discovered my passion for driving a sportscar. What handling. I know it's only a Ford, but it made me feel quite zippy. When I passed people on the road, I imagined they thought I was kind of cool, although it's hard to be cool in a Ford, right?

I had plenty of time to contemplate this yesterday, as I ended up spending a solid five hours in the car. Before I left the area, I followed signs to "the world's largest general store" in Wind Gap, Pa. The notion of the general store is somewhat archaic, so I'm not sure how this particular distinction (world's largest) was determined. The store was indeed vast, and had the most peculiar assortment of things you'd never want. Old signs, hammocks, fishing nets, desktop fountains, innumerable animal figurines, rocking chairs, silk flowers, toothbrush holders, taxidermied mountain rams, a giant dinosaur statue that roared convincingly, fake cowboy guns and more. It's hard for me to walk into a store, especially one so vast, and buy nothing, but I couldn't even find a knick-knack that appealed. There was a petting zoo, but I didn't see any animals so I left.

The drive from the Pocono mountains to Philadelphia should rightly be about two hours, but I missed my exit and went out of my way by an hour and a half. Oops! Then there was construction and an accident on a major road and before I knew it I was in the car for a full five hours. And I still haven't finished my cover story.

This blog will be spruced up and reinvested with my love starting Monday. Sorry for the delays.