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Parent trap

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For the 13 years my cat lived, I was generally unable to complete my suicide attempts. I'd think, "Who will care for this freakish-looking, desperately needy cat if I'm not here?"

Concern for my parents also deterred me. Even as I was jostling the pills in my sweaty palm, I'd think: "My parents will kill me"—a stupidly inappropriate idiomatic expression at such a time. And then I'd think, quite seriously: "No, they'd kill themselves."

I worried more about my mother than my father in this regard. My dad has a real lust for life, such that he wants to stay alive even if he's paralyzed from the nose down and can only communicate by raising his eyebrows. My mom is like me: constantly wondering what the hell the point is. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to think my suicide might lead to her own, which would really be a bummer for my dad (pictured here shooting pool).

Below is a real-life story of Welsh parents who killed themselves just one day after their son committed suicide. They couldn't face the pain.

Parents' suicide after son death [BBC]

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About

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Liz Spikol is senior contributing editor of Philadelphia Weekly. She writes the award-winning column The Trouble With Spikol, which began as a chronicle of her struggle with mental illness, and has since expanded into humorous musings on everything from graphic novels to how to use a mop. She also writes the paper's book review column, Lit Gloss. This blog -- named one of the Top 10 Bipolar Blogs of 2007 by PsychCentral -- is about mental illness policy, news, personal journeys and more.