I just got a new phone, and I'm so baffled by the new technology, I may never hear from anyone again, ever. Were it 20 years ago, I'd probably say, "I'm too retarded to handle this phone." But you know what? It's 2006. Get a new word!

Morgan Spurlock, who used the word "retarded" and mocked special-ed kids at a recent high school assembly, is such a schmuck. I disliked his lazy, stupid movie, Supersize Me—which would have made for a good Saturday Night Live sketch at most—though I have to give him credit for a good gimmick. I wish I had thought of it.

Spurlock has apologized for his horrible remarks, but I'm not buying his remorse.

Hatboro Horsham Not Lovin' It [Philadelphia Will Do]
Morgan Spurlock Apologizes To Helmet-Wearing Kids The World Over [Philadelphia Will Do]
Super embarrassment? [Doylestown Intelligencer]