A veces me gustaría blogear en español, aunque imagino que la mayoría de las personas que leen este blog no entienden ese idioma. (También sé un poco de francés, pero no bastante para sustener una entrada más compleja que "Les moutons sont dans le jardin"—la primera frase que aprendí cuando tomé una clase de francés hace 20 años.)

Empecé estudiar el español cuando tenía 8 años—basicamente mientras que estaba aprendiendo las reglas de inglés. Pues me crecía con los dos idiomas rebosando de mi boca, y el español parece una parte de mi vida y mi personalidad. (Y mucho más importante que otras cosas que aprendía en la escuela, como, por ejemplo, algebra.)

Fuí a España cuando tenía 14 años por un mes, después a la República Dominicana cuando tenía 17 años por tres meses, despues a España otra vez (19 años) por seis meses y despues a Costa Rica (21 años) por cinco meses. El resultado es que mi acento es una mezcla extraña. El otro resultado es que estoy enamorada de esos paises, la cultura de cada uno, y del lenguaje.

También estudiaba la cultura Chicana cuando vivía en Tejas (cinco años; oy vey), y hice muchos traducciones desde español a inglés como coursework doctoral. De hecho, antes de tener este puesto con Philadelphia Weekly, enseñaba español profesionalmente. Dificil creer, lo sé, dado ésta entrada.

Nunca tengo la oportunidad hablar ni escribir el español. Quién sabe cuantos errores hay aquí. Pero quiero que ustedes sepan que el español es una parte importante de quien soy. Ustedes saben todo sobre de mi vida; por qué no ésto también?

[La foto es de Córdoba, España, donde vivía.]

Posted by liz at 02:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Latinos see barriers in health care

EARLIER: Latinos and mental health care

Posted by liz at 02:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

For the 13 years my cat lived, I was generally unable to complete my suicide attempts. I'd think, "Who will care for this freakish-looking, desperately needy cat if I'm not here?"

Concern for my parents also deterred me. Even as I was jostling the pills in my sweaty palm, I'd think: "My parents will kill me"—a stupidly inappropriate idiomatic expression at such a time. And then I'd think, quite seriously: "No, they'd kill themselves."

I worried more about my mother than my father in this regard. My dad has a real lust for life, such that he wants to stay alive even if he's paralyzed from the nose down and can only communicate by raising his eyebrows. My mom is like me: constantly wondering what the hell the point is. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to think my suicide might lead to her own, which would really be a bummer for my dad (pictured here shooting pool).

Below is a real-life story of Welsh parents who killed themselves just one day after their son committed suicide. They couldn't face the pain.

Parents' suicide after son death [BBC]

Posted by liz at 01:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This morning I heard a story on the BBC News Hour about a soldier who went AWOL after suffering post-traumatic stress in Iraq. Where did he flee in order to evade capture from the U.S. military? Philadelphia, of course, where no one would think to look. The city proved a perfect cover for him for more than a year. I'm guessing he lived in the Northeast. I mean, who would move there if they didn't have to? Zing!

Now the soldier is applying for asylum in Canada. I don't know which city he's in, but it's gotta be a pale substitute for the City of Brotherly Love.

War Resisters Support Campaign
U.S. deserter seeks asylum in Canada
Man Who Deserted in 1968 Is Arrested

Posted by liz at 12:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Plus-sized model Emme has always been open about life as a heavy person, but now she and her husband have written a book about his struggle with depression—what the couple calls "the two-year abyss."

She was reluctant to co-write the book, an idea her husband came up with. She told the Hackensack Record's Virgina Rohan, "I was kicking and screaming going into it. It was too soon, and post-depression, there was a whole adjustment period ... about eight or nine months for Phil ... a lot of tough, difficult times for him. Imagine being out of it for 2½ years, not being in control of what was going on around you, [feeling like you] couldn't even get out of the house if the house was burning."

Ultimately, Phil tried ECT. "There are still some people on the side of the fence that it works [for], and others that it doesn't. It worked for me."

Emme described dealing with Phil's ECT-related memory loss: "When Phil came back from the hospital, he couldn't drive, because he didn't know where the supermarket was. He had to relearn, and then it would slowly come back."

Hmm. That sounds familiar.

But Phil's experience is why, though I'm generally opposed to ECT, I don't favor an outright ban on it, as some activists do. It really does seem to work for some small number of people, and it wouldn't be fair to deny them a treatment solution.

One Couple's Climb to Hope

Posted by liz at 11:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Seventeen-year-old boy Bryce Mackie was just a regular kid from Battle Creek, Michigan, trudging through high school and hanging out with his friends. But when he was a junior he fell into a deep depression, and sense of emptiness engulfed him. He became suicidal.

Now, after being stabilized on Celexa, Mackie has made a short film, Eternal High, about his experience with depression in a bid to raise awareness about the illness.

“No one seems to talk about things that make them uncomfortable,” Mackie told the Lakeview High School's Crystal. “When I tell people that the film is about depression, their face just drops, and they say ‘Oh, okay. Good luck with that.’ It makes people go out of their comfort zone.”

He also says, “Unless you’ve gone through depression you have no clue about the pain you go through, and the darkness. I just want for kids to get help and know that they’re not alone.”

Wow. I was sneaking cigarettes in the school parking lot and hanging out at Burger King for hours when I was in high school. Bryce Mackie, I salute you.

See a clip from Mackie's film here.

[Image of teenagers by Tim Caynes via Flickr.]

Posted by liz at 03:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Acne Treatment May Ease Symptoms of Depression [Toronto Fashion Monitor]

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If you're a consumer of mental health care services, you've surely been hit with the dreaded cap—the abrupt end of insurance benefits for your treatment. It's of course wildly unfair to treat mental illnesses differently than "physical" illnesses, but I've given up even writing about it.

Opponents of parity have often argued it would cost too much money, but a new study in the New England Journal of Medicine says otherwise, opening the door (just a sliver) for progress.

Mental Health Parity Would Not Raise Treatment Costs, NEJM Study Says

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I've always been interested in crime, especially in the abnormal psychology of serial murderers. I've studied the topic for many years, and probably know as much as if I'd taken several classes. But I never read much "true crime." Now I find myself completely consumed by these books, each detailing several cases of murder and mayhem.

I've completely freaked myself out numerous times, thinking I heard some scratching outside—surely a murderer rather than a tree branch. It's like when you go camping as a kid and everyone tells ghost stories. Suggested terror.

When I was living in Austin, there were two rapists at work: the Hyde Park Rapist and the Mopac Rapist. It's not clear to me if the two were the same person or not. But the city lived in fear. When I thought about moving to Hyde Park, I was told not to because of the rapist. The attacks had been going on for years. The cases were cold.

During this time, I became friendly with a guy who was always on the verge of violence. His name was Christopher, and he was enraged that his wife—from whom he was separated—was having an affair with my best friend. He'd show up at our grad school parties, the ultimate "townie," and threaten my friend with a gun. In Texas, that's not so unusual; every car and pickup had a gun rack, and I became accustomed to firearms. But Christopher, holding a gun in one hand, a bottle of Jack in the other, seemed more likely to use it. Still, I'd hang out with him and be consoling. I could imagine how it tortured him, watching his beloved and beautiful wife with another guy. I felt sorry for Christopher, and I tried to help.

A couple years after I got back to Philly, I got a phone call. They caught the Mopac rapist. It was Christopher.

I was stunned. As a rape survivor, I felt like I should have known. But he had operated for years—dozens of victims—and eluded capture. I shouldn't feel guilty about it, but I do.

That experience is what animates much of my interest in crime. How could I be so close to someone and not see the predator? Ann Rule, a former cop, had a similar (and far more dramatic) experience when she worked with Ted Bundy and became friendly with him. When she later found out who he was, she was shocked.

Part of the attraction I have is based on imagining myself in the different situations—not as the victim, but as the killer. I can't stop asking the question: What makes the difference between someone who thinks dark thoughts and someone who acts on them? What am I capable of? I know what it's like to have my perception of things completely distorted. I was violent when my mental illness was at its worst. I had bizarre inclinations.

But I never did anything illegal, or even particularly interesting. What is the line between madness, anger and illness, and murder? What accounts for taking the next step?

Obviously, I know I'm not a sociopath. My shrink laughed at me when I told him this stuff. A forensic psychiatrist, he gave me an article about psycopathic personalities. I mailed it back with a note: "I'm not a psycopath after all. Thanks!" I was relieved.

Anyhoo, I'm tired of thinking about all this stuff. I think I have to give Ann Rule a rest. I bought Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathan Lethem, which I hear is excellent. It's about a detective with Tourette's. So still has the crime component, but compared to what I've been reading, it'll be fun.

[Photo of Ann Rule dressed for her senior play at Coatsville High.]

Posted by liz at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Return to old-school sexy Barry White/Al Green territory with—who else?—Prince. I'm not sure what I think of the new album yet, but I loooove this song.

I saw Prince in concert on his "Purple Rain" tour, which is maybe more about my age than you want to know. (I was young. Very young. Fetal, practically.) That show blew me away, and I've been a fan ever since. What a brilliant little man.

I want my satisfaction now, dammit

Posted by liz at 05:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

"Cameroon: When Laughing Becomes Abnormal"

The story's about schizophrenia. And that, my friends, is no laughing mattter.

Read more here.

Posted by liz at 02:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I just got a new phone, and I'm so baffled by the new technology, I may never hear from anyone again, ever. Were it 20 years ago, I'd probably say, "I'm too retarded to handle this phone." But you know what? It's 2006. Get a new word!

Morgan Spurlock, who used the word "retarded" and mocked special-ed kids at a recent high school assembly, is such a schmuck. I disliked his lazy, stupid movie, Supersize Me—which would have made for a good Saturday Night Live sketch at most—though I have to give him credit for a good gimmick. I wish I had thought of it.

Spurlock has apologized for his horrible remarks, but I'm not buying his remorse.

Hatboro Horsham Not Lovin' It [Philadelphia Will Do]
Morgan Spurlock Apologizes To Helmet-Wearing Kids The World Over [Philadelphia Will Do]
Super embarrassment? [Doylestown Intelligencer]

Posted by liz at 12:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

From RTE News:

"A report on mental health has revealed that a quarter of young gay or bisexual men in Northern Ireland have attempted suicide.

"Nearly two-thirds considered killing themselves and 30% self harmed, according to the survey, which was carried out over three years by the Rainbow Project in Belfast.

"The survey of 190 young gay or bisexual men revealed one third were diagnosed as having a mental illness at some time in their lives with almost as many having had a potential psychiatric disorder."

For more:
NI survey shows extent of gay suicide issue

[Photo by Stuart Clarke]

Posted by liz at 12:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sometimes researchers do what's called "a review of the literature," which means they go back and read numerous studies on a given subject and then distill the results and observations into a book review of sorts. I love those. It means I don't have to read the studies myself, but I still glean interesting information. Below, Humberto Marin, M.D., Javier I. Escobar, M.D., and William A. Vega, Ph.D. review the literature on Hispanics and mental health. Here's what they found:

"Although Hispanics are the largest minority in the United States, we have only fragmentary information and scarce guidelines on the frequency, recognition, and treatment of mental illness in this population.

"In reviewing the literature on this issue, the authors found that Hispanics are younger, poorer, and less educated than the average American; have an average unemployment rate; are heterogeneous in aspects such as race/genetics, health care access/utilization, acculturation, and legal status; differ in risk of some mental illnesses and in risky behaviors according to birthplace/ acculturation; are at increasing risk of behaviors and health issues that complicate mental illness and its treatment, such as obesity, diabetes, and sedentary lifestyle; have less access to health and mental health care and receive less care and lower-quality care; tend to receive mental health care in primary care settings, often face linguistic barriers, and are more likely not to have mental disorders detected; seem less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety but tend to have more persistent mental illnesses; are more likely to somatize distress and to report psychotic symptoms in the absence of a formal thought disorder; do not appear to differ from Caucasians in drug metabolism and pharmacokinetics; seem to have lower medication adherence, which could be a function of socioeconomic and linguistic or educational factors; seem to respond well to adapted psychotherapeutic and psychosocial interventions and receive significant additional benefit from supplemental services such as case management, collaborative care, and quality improvement interventions."

Wow. That's a lotta semicolons.

Posted by liz at 11:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

300,000 Moroccans suffer schizophrenia

About 300,000 out of 30 million inhabitants of Morocco suffer from schizophrenia, according to a psychiatric survey published Monday in Rabat.

Schizophrenia, which is still an unknown disease, remains more mysterious in the collective imagination of Moroccans, "from which the taboo must be removed as it leads to social rejection."

"In Morocco, people point at schizophrenics and their parents," says the survey, adding that professionals treating this "universal" are stigmatised.

According to the study, schizophrenia, which is a "democratic" pathology, as it affects all social and occupational categories in society, can be cured if it is treated very early.

Hence, patients suffering schizophrenia should be accompanied, their communication improved, and consultation and family support reinforced.

"The Moroccan society is still united compared to societies, where the family is increasingly nuclear," the study notes, adding however that late diagnosis may be the cause of the failure of treatment.

Posted by liz at 02:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

From the Associated Press:

A woman charged with snatching her children from their beds during a home invasion at their grandmother's house died after being hit by a bus, police said.

Nora Montano [pictured], 35, was riding a bicycle when she ran a red light and was hit by a school bus about 7 a.m. Monday, police said. Montano was airlifted to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood, where she was pronounced dead from head trauma.

Montano, a U.S. Army private, lost legal custody of her two children in November 2002 after she began suffering from bipolar disorder, according to court records. Her mother was given custody of the children.

Montano and husband Jose Montano spent about 18 hours on the run with their children, then ages 2 and 3, until authorities caught them at a motel in the Florida Panhandle in June 2003. The children were unharmed.

Nora Montano had been found not guilty by reason of insanity.

She had been living in a group home until a couple weeks ago when she was kicked out for not taking her medication and losing control, according to her attorney, Patrick Rastatter. She was living with caregiver Martha Paret while her guardians found a new group home.

She left a note for Paret about Monday morning saying she was biking 3 1/2 miles to a store.

"I think they let her leave the hospital too soon," Paret said.

For a more in-depth look:

School bus kills troubled mother

Posted by liz at 02:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Baruchito's HomeCage
Oh my God, I'm so in love with this website. It tells the story of a family of hamsters, narrated in their voices. The father of the group, the lovable Baru, has passed on, sadly, which is a shame because his voice was the most endearing of all. (Go back and read all his posts and you'll feel like you know him.) The hamsters all talk about their doting "Papa," a Spaniard living in Japan who cares for them better than I ever cared for my dog. Papa's English isn't always perfect, but that just makes his hamsters all the sweeter.

Here's a typical entry, this one today from Flan, who's pictured here eating toast:

I need to lose weight

"Papa thought that I'm too fat, so last week he took me to see Dr. Ozawa just in case. The doctor said that I'm fat and that I need to diet.

"That's why Papa now only gives me very few seeds and more fresh food like lettuce and tomato. It is a pity, because I enjoyed eating toasted bread very much, and now I think I'm not going to taste it again for some time."

It's no wonder the site was featured on Cute Overload. It really is just too much to take.

Flan runs on her new wheel, Nana escapes, remembering Baru, and more...

Posted by liz at 12:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Here's a very sad story of a guy with bipolar disorder who became somewhat, shall we say, interested in Lauren Bush, the president's niece (pictured).

Thirty-two-year-old Lucas Schloming has been incarcerated for nine months—and hasn't had any medication protocol the whole time. His father, Skip, is frustrated. He says, "What illness in the United States is left untreated for nine months when the treatment is known?"

A crime, penalty and illness [NorthJersey.com]

Posted by liz at 10:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Earlier this week we talked a bit about Debra Lafave (pictured), the teacher who had an "affair" with a 14-year-old student and who now claims bipolar disorder made her do it. I was skeptical, but it's interesting to note that this isn't the first time the bipolar defense has been used to excuse a female teacher's bad behavior.

In the other case, detailed in the Ocala, Florida, Star-Banner, it sounds as if the teacher, Liesl Oatman, was suffering from some kind of serious mental derangement, hence her use of the insanity defense.

The article makes a more persuasive case for Lafave's illness, but also asks if bipolar disorder can, in fact, be used as a rationale for inappropriate sexual overtures.

Woman used insanity defense in similar case

Posted by liz at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Here are some things I particularly liked:

• From beagles: "This can be an adventure. You get to see the doctor's waiting room. You will see the fish tank; what the receptionist is wearing...read about Eminem or Heath Ledger in People mag ... hey, can I come along?"
• From Sean: "You're assuming that you'll be given medication. That's not necessarily the case. There are now non-medication options that can be helpful."
• From Natalie: "In the meantime, don't be ashamed. Easier said than done, but we all have shame about our bodies and a mind that is a little out of control at times."
• From Gena: "If you had allergies, would you hesitate to get them treated?"
• From Penny: "Keep a journal of your mood experiences ... Writing it all down may help you identify patterns you haven't noticed otherwise."
• From Brian: "You very well may not need medication, just someone to help you understand your mood swings and how your period affects them. Some good advice or a shoulder to lean on couldn't hurt."
From Uma: "Please don't worry about the stigma. ... You are more important than any shame over this."

The winner is Amara, who offered solid advice in a voice a 16-year-old could relate to.

Below is the actual advice given by "Ask Amy"'s Amy Dickinson (pictured above):

"Dear Roller Coaster: I gather that your mother isn't a physician. Neither am I. So it isn't for either one of us to suggest anti-depressants for you. You really do need to see your doctor.

"You might in fact be depressed, but it sounds to me like you could have a galloping case of premenstrual syndrome that causes this sadness and moodiness. Many women suffer from crying jags and mood swings caused by PMS each month. Your physician might recommend that you try some natural or over-the-counter remedies (a recent study of 3,000 women shows that vitamin D and calcium can help).

"You are right to realize that exercise can make you feel better when you're sad. So can Joni Mitchell's Blue album or Nickelback's latest. The only thing that won't help is to keep these feelings to yourself. When things bother you, you really need to talk it out with someone you trust. 'Cutting' is not the answer and would only make matters MUCH worse."

Posted by liz at 02:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Mental health professionals are making less money than they need to, says the New York Times—in part because their rates haven't increased. My psychiatrist has charged me the same amount for the past couple years: $125 per session. I appreciate the fact that he hasn't increased the fee, but $125 is a lot of money. I pay him $500 a month—more than I pay for rent.

I sympathize with social workers and counselors who are severely underpaid, but I'm less teary-eyed about psychiatrists in private practice. Is that unfair? Maybe I'm just jealous that I don't make $125 per hour. I suppose fixing comma splices isn't quite as important as fixing the brain.

Mental Health Therapists Face Financial Stress as Fees Stagnate [NY Times]

Posted by liz at 02:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The Democratic state senator from Massachusetts has come out of the closet about his almost 10-year battle with depression. I'm really blown away by this kind of bravery, particularly from a politician.

Nothing to hide [Lowell Sun]

Posted by liz at 12:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

By 4 p.m. today. Guaranteed.

Posted by liz at 12:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wow. We haven't done this for a while. (I'm still looking for a new BBI mascot, BTW.) I realize everyone is kind of sick of the disaster that Medicare Part D engendered, but there is news on that front, and I'm going to reprint the entire release from NAMI.

Medicare Drug Benefit Update: Extended Transition Period Set to Expire on March 31; Prior Authorization and Step Therapy Will Begin on Some Medications

Initial transition rules for the Medicare Part D drug benefit will expire on March 31, allowing Prescription Drug Plans (PDPs) to begin imposing restrictions on access to some medications on their preferred drug lists (also known as formularies). The transition rules set forth by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) have required PDPs to cover any and all medications that were prescribed to an enrollee as of January 1, 2006. Specifically, if a beneficiary was prescribed a medication (including a psychotropic medication) upon enrollment, they were presumed to be stable on that medication and their drug plan was required to cover any refill.

This transition requirement was supposed to have expired at the end of January. However, in response to a difficult initial transition period, CMS extended the transition policy requirement through March 31. More information on the CMS transition policy is available online, including a news alert and a physician Q&A.

Beneficiaries May Need to Seek an Exception

Under the transition policy, drug plans are supposed to have been providing notices to beneficiaries, doctors, and pharmacists that a specific refill was covered under the transition policy and that the particular medication is either:
•not on the PDP's formulary (although this should not be occurring with anti-psychotics, antidepressants or anti-convulsants as plans are •required to cover "all or substantially all" of these medications),
•subject to a prior authorization requirement (where the drug plan requires prior clearance before a prescription is filled),
•subject to a step therapy edit (where the drug plan requires the enrollee to first try a preferred drug alternative),
•subject to a mandatory generic substitution requirement, or
•subject to a dosage limitation (the dosage or volume of pills prescribed is above the plans recommended limits).

Most Medicare drug plans have some of these restrictions on access as part of their coverage. A report issued last week by the House Government Reform Committee Minority Staff found that 97 percent of the Medicare drug plans place prior authorization or step therapy on at least one of the 100 most prescribed medications. A copy of this report can be viewed online.

In each of these instances (formulary exclusion, prior authorization, step therapy, dosage limitation, etc.), beneficiaries have the ability to seek an "exception" from their drug plan's policy. This is an administrative procedure whereby an enrollee requests that the plan make an exception to the coverage restriction based upon the individual's unique circumstances. Because the grounds for granting an exception are the individual enrollee's clinical status and treatment history, the active involvement of the prescribing physician is essential in the process.

A critical step for some Medicare beneficiaries will be contacting their drug plan and/or their physician to find out if their medications have thus far been refilled in accordance with the plan's transition policy. The rules for Medicare Part D allow drug plans to require that requests for exception be made in writing by the prescribing physician. Each Medicare drug is allowed to have their own written form for exceptions, although CMS has established a model form that has been recommended to all plans. More importantly, Medicare drug plans are required to respond to an exception request within 72 hours – and as quickly as 24 hours in certain emergencies. If an exception is denied, plan enrollees can appeal to an Independent Review Entity (IRE) that is outside of the drug plan's influence.

More information on how to seek an exception or seek an administrative appeal is available online.

Overall Part D Enrollment Tops 27 Million

The past month has seen a surge in enrollment in the new Medicare drug benefit, with 2 million beneficiaries signing up in the past month. The number of beneficiaries who have individually enrolled now exceeds 7.2 million. The other nearly 20 million enrollees were automatically enrolled through other programs or are retirees whose former employers are receiving subsidies under the program.

Of particular concern are the more than 7 million low-income Medicare beneficiaries projected to be eligible for a generous subsidy (as much as $4,000 annually) in order to afford drug coverage. Thus far, less than 2 million beneficiaries have been signed up for the subsidy. It should be noted that all of these low-income beneficiaries are above Medicaid eligibility and as a result most did not have coverage prior to the new drug benefit. NAMI is currently working with CMS and a broad coalition of national organizations (including the National Council on Aging, AARP, and others) to develop strategies to help reach these beneficiaries before the May 15, 2006 deadline for open enrollment.

Beneficiaries must separately apply for the low-income subsidy (LIS), also known as "extra help" through the Social Security Administration (SSA). The application is available online.

Posted by liz at 11:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Here's the other dream I had last night, which merits a separate entry.

The PW editorial staff was directed to go to "floor E" for a caption-writing contest. We each got a photo and had to write a caption in five minutes or less. The caption had to begin with a pun, and be followed up with content related to the pun.

My photo was from last week's PW. It was of octopus served at the restaurant Ansill.

My caption read: "Octopussy bond: Ansill serves stick-to-your-ribs seafood."

I thought that was so clever, marrying a James Bond reference to the seafood dish. But no one in the room had seen the movie, nor heard of it. I was chagrined, and even more so when I realized I was wearing my pajamas.

Posted by liz at 11:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last night I dreamt my boyfriend, Vince, was sitting in our living room, and we had guests over. We were talking about literary things, and he said, "Has anyone read Milk Jugs Magazine?"

Everyone froze. Milk Jugs? The magazine about boobs?

He laughed and said, "I'm serious. It's got really great articles." And I said: "Yeah, just like Playboy. I really like Playboy's writing."

The crowd, now convinced that we were both into porn, was silent. And I thought, "Maybe Vince is talking about Milk Jugs, the dairy magazine. In which case I just admitted I liked Playboy for no reason."

Posted by liz at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Panel: drug shouldn't be used for ADHD yet [Miami Herald]

Posted by liz at 03:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Someone recently asked me what happened to Song of the Day. Until she mentioned it, I'd completely forgotten it existed. My depression has been so debilitating, I forgot my own feature!

When I'm depressed my memory gets worse. (NB: Cognitive impairment during depression is the rationale lots of ECT-industry hos give for the high incidence of memory loss from the treatments. They claim you can't tell what's from the shock and what's from the depression, so all those people claiming serious memory loss are just confused. Ridiculous.)

My memory is terrible to begin with (yes, from the shock treatments), but when I'm depressed an extra blanket is piled onto the bed and I'm almost smothered by a lack of comprehension of even simple things. I guess that's what happened with Song of the Day.

But now it's back. Did you miss it? One person did, anyway.

Today's song is from the soundtrack to Dave Chappelle's Block Party. The CD is very Philly (it features Jill Scott, aka Jilly From Philly, and the Roots and was co-produced by ?uestlove). The whole thing is pretty dope (heh—I said "dope") but I guess I'd pick Mos Def's performance of his powerful song "Umi Says" as my favorite. But then again, I'm kind of blown away by "You Got Me" featuring the Roots, Erykah Badu and Jill Scott. So Led Zeppelin/Grace Slick!

I can't wait to see the movie.

Shine your light on the world

Posted by liz at 02:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Go to Furious Seasons for a thorough analysis of the depression/medication report released by the NIMH. Seasons' Philip Dawdy and I don't always see eye to eye on these issues, but he certainly does his homework, and is far less lazy/glib than I am. Check it out:

If This Is Hope, Then I'll Take Despair

Posted by liz at 01:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Chefs have it rough. The pressure can be intense in a working kitchen. The hours are long, and top chefs can be bullies. These, a new study says, are the reasons so many chefs commit suicide.

The study is the first to group suicides by profession in Scotland, where suicide is high overall.

From the Times Online:

"The statistics have emerged in the wake of the high-profile suicide three years ago of Bernard Loiseau [pictured], one of France’s leading chefs. Loiseau shot himself after his restaurant, La Côte d’Or in Burgundy, lost two marks in the highly regarded Gault Millau guide. It was claimed that rumours that the establishment might lose a Michelin star pushed him over the edge."

Georges Perrier, make that therapy appointment now—before it's too late.

Posted by liz at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

From reader Meghan K. Caffrey, who gets into more detail about the way the show works:

"Last night I watched the series premiere of the Fox television show "Unanimous." Basically, nine strangers are locked in a bunker until they unanimously decide which of them wins $1.5 million. Of course, there's the dreaded elimination of contestants, but those who are eliminated stay in the bunker and continue voting.

"The process of elimination goes like this: Everyone has anonymously confessed to a deep, dark secret that they don't want anyone to know about. During each elimination round, the contestants hear three randomly selected anonymous secrets and decide which one is the worst; the person whose secret is voted "worst" gets eliminated.

"Last night, the three secrets were:
-filed for bankruptcy when he/she had a combined income of $100,000
-has been detained on more than one occasion for carrying live ammunition
-has been in a mental hospital

"As someone who has spent time in psych wards and mental hospitals, I find it very irresponsible of the show's creators to perpetuate the stereotype that mental illness is a deep, dark secret that should be kept hidden. Also, the fact that the other two secrets involve what sounds like criminal behavior (the circumstances and details aren't given) doesn't help the situation. This just really makes me mad because mental illness alone is tough enough to deal with, without the stereotype that it is something to be ashamed of."

But Philadelphia Daily News TV critic Ellen Gray says it was better than she expected:

"Actually, as I wrote after seeing the screener, the show itself, bad as it was, wasn't as bad as Fox's promos. The one person attempting to instigate trouble about someone having a history of mental illness was doing it to direct attention away from her own secret—I think she'd declared bankruptcy at a time when her family income was $100,000—and most of the other people didn't seem to be buying it. Given that a show like this tends not to attract the brightest and most open-minded members of society, I found it hopeful that some of them, at least, knew better than to assume a former mental patient would be dangerous or even mildly problematic."

Anyone else watch the show? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.

Posted by liz at 10:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A new NIMH study of antidepressants' efficacy says people who try one drug and don't find relief are likely to feel better on the second drug they try. But the study also shows that people may have to wait at least six to 12 weeks to see results, which is why so many psychiatrists counsel patience. The study results were based on experience with Celexa, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Effexor and Buspar. They all performed similarly.

When people ask me at speaking events what it was that made the difference for me, I always say it was medication, and medication compliance. I'm grateful for family support, community support and the job I have. I'm grateful for my psychotherapy sessions. But if my meds aren't working, nothing can save me. My job doesn't stop me from hearing things. Family support doesn't interrupt my perception that there are bugs zipping across the curtains.

I was ready to swallow a bottle of pills and go into the light two weeks ago. Now I just want to go to the movies. I love Effexor, but it took eight weeks to kick in. And for this particular bout of depression, I tried Wellbutrin first, with no success. So this study matches up quite nicely with my experience. Don't you love when that happens?

Below, all the mainstream spin:

Mixed News on Depression Drugs [CBS News]
Study: Changing Medicines May Aid Depressed [Washington Post]
New Hope Amid Depression [San Francisco Chronicle]
Different Drug Often Works in Depression, Study Finds [NY Times]

Posted by liz at 04:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Normally I'm unwavering in my support of privacy laws, especially those regarding mental health records and psychiatric reports. But this case puts my principles to the test.

From WQAD.com:

"A defrocked Belleville priest accused of child molestation wants the Illinois Supreme Court to keep his mental health records confidential.

Attorneys for Raymond Kownacki and Belleville's diocese yesterday told the high court that Kownacki's psychological and alcohol counseling records are protected by Illinois privacy laws. That's even though the records predate the statute.

But attorneys for one of his accusers—James Wisniewski of Champaign— countered that 70-year-old Kownacki and the diocese are misusing the confidentiality law.

A state appellate court last year ordered that Kownacki's medical records be given to attorneys for Wisniewski and another man who claim Kownacki sexually abused them when they were boys.

Kownacki was removed from the priesthood in 1995."

[I love having an excuse to post a picture by my favorite artist, Fra Angelico. If only the reality of religion were so beautiful.]

Posted by liz at 02:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My post and D-Mac's post about the Elle Decor article proclaiming Philly the next Madrid attracted the notice of the snarky and lovable Gridskipper. The best part of the Gridskipper entry? The commenter who calls himself "Sophisticated Hillbilly." Sayeth he:

"Philly is the next Detroit. I live there. If by public transportation 'run smoothly and extensively' they in fact mean 'suck ass' I agree with them. The roads are horrible too, so any transportation is a bummer. The city government corruption is second to none. You then can't drink away the problems without big hassle because of Pennsylvania's draconian alcohol laws: No alcohol at the grocery store, No beer at the wine/liquor store, Beer only from distributors(by the case) or from bars (double-priced). The ought to bulldoze the whole of PA and make it a parking lot for New York City."

The views of the above are not necessarily those of The Trouble With Spikol. But they might be.

Posted by liz at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've gotten a couple of emails about the show Unanimous, which had its debut on Fox last night. I'm sorry I missed it. Apparently, there are several people locked in a bunker and they have to unanimously decide who will leave the bunker. Whoever is left gets a pony ... no, sorry, a lot of money.

It's another of those stoopid reality shows that are plaguing the land, only this one pits a gay activist against Republican Christian, etc. Also, each contestant hides a secret. One of those secrets is that a contestant has been in a mental hospital.

If you go to the show's website right now, you can vote in the poll: "Who do you think is hiding that he/she was a patient in a mental ward?"

Oy vey.

Posted by liz at 11:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I don't know why I had a contest. I'm the absolute worst person to be a judge of anything because I think everyone's great and I want everyone to win. When I watch the Academy Awards, my stomach contracts in pain when the losers are shown valiantly trying to look happy for the winner. A surfeit of empathy has hampered my ability to function for many years. So vis-a-vis the contest, it might take me a couple days to get some balls in this regard.

Two things my boyfriend said during a fight last year that have really stuck with me:

"No one likes a milquetoast."
"Get a spine!"

I have since tried to be more assertive, but I'm often too eager to be liked. Someone who left a comment on this blog called me a "dumbass" and my first instinct was to apologize to him.

Some people are Superman. Some people are Clark Kent. In my dreams, I'm Superman. When it comes to judging contests, I'm Clark Kent—the ultimate milquetoast patsy.

I promise to get back to everyone soon.

Posted by liz at 11:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Debra Lafave, the bewitching blond/blue-eyed teacher who had sex with a 14-year-old student at her middle school now—suddenly! conveniently!—claims to be a sexual predator because BIPOLAR MADE ME DO IT.

Ah, my favorite excuse. All together, now:

That old bipolar's got me in its spell
That same old witchcraft that I know so well
I've got those icy, icy fingers up and down my spine
The same old witchcraft when its eyes meet mine

The same old tingle I feel inside
And then that elevator starts its ride
And down and down I go, all around I go
Like a leaf that's caught in the tide

Teacher-Sex Outcome Sparks Outrage [CBS]
Lafave court documents [Smoking Gun]

Posted by liz at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Everyone loves lists, especially stuff like "Top 10 Movies About Ginger Ale of All-Time," or—if you're regionalistic booster freaks like we are in my city—a whole issue of an alt weekly devoted to "Top 100 Songs Made in Philly By Jazzy Guys Who Now (Or Have Once) Worn Berets."

But my list is a little difference. It's: "Top 35 Psych Meds I've Taken to Try to Put My Damaged Brain Back Together After Its Marbles Have Been Released on a Slanted Hardwood Floor." Below are all the drugs I've taken at one time or another to try to address my bipolar and OCD.

They are:

Celexa
Desyrel
Effexor
Lexapro
Luvox
Nardil
Norpramin
Pamelor
Parnate
Paxil
Prozac
Serzone
Tofranil
Wellbutrin
Zoloft
Lamictal
Lithium
Tegretol
Depekote
Ambien
Sonata
Ativan
Buspar
Klonopin
Clozaril
Risperdal
Seroquel
Thorazine
Zyprexa
Adderall
Desoxyn
Dexedrine
Ritalin
Neurontin
Topamax

I'm sure I'm forgetting a bunch. Then you also have to keep in mind that all of those were tried alone, then in combination. It's enough to keep John Nash crunching numbers for days.

My point? Don't get discouraged if you've taken a medication for a couple weeks and you don't feel anything happening. It can take a lot of time and complex effort for you and your doctor to hit upon the right thing.

Wait. That seems like the wrong point. Let me try again.

My point? This mental illness stuff blows. I'm happy to be stabilized at the moment.

[Image by Ori-gomi via Flickr.]

Posted by liz at 01:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

"Dear Ms. Spikol,

"I would like to start out by thanking you for your writing. I've been stationed over seas going on 3 years now and I miss Philly a lot. I try to check every day to see if you have written anything new; reading your articles, and now your blog, help to lessen the distance.

"Regarding the article on medicated service members being deployed: I think this is no worse of an idea than putting people who are mentally ill in any high stress situation, but if the illness is treatable then why shouldn‘t someone be deployed? Military doctors, just like civilian, are there to evaluate mental health. They know the stresses associated with a military deployment and the problems of the person being evaluated. If the illness is too deep, than they should not be eligible for deployment. Just as you trust in your doctors to help you, so do we, as service members, trust our doctors with our health and safety as well as the health and safety of those around us. We can only hope that the need to fill troop deployments does not out weigh the need to ensure safety for both the individual and the unit.

"Thank you for your time and again for your writing.

"Sincerely,
SrA Ian Smith, USAF
Andersen AFB, Guam"

First of all, let me just say that in all my years of writing, I've never once received a communication from Guam. This is extremely exciting. (Ian, you are officially my favorite person affiliated with any military outfit anywhere. That includes TV.)

I haven't received many emails from servicemen and women. My dad was in the Army, stationed in Berlin. Then I married a guy who was had also been in the Army, stationed in Berlin. Weird, right? My ex-boyfriend, who I lived with for four years, was in the Army reserve and the Coast Guard. (I have him to thank for my favorite hooded Army sweatshirt and a similarly nice gray Army T-shirt. I really like the way those military duds are made.) My domestic life has often been shared with ex-servicemen, yet I was under the impression that most people on active duty figured I was too big a lefty pacifist Quaker meathead to read my work. But the wonders of the Internet, oh my.

That being said, Ian makes an excellent point. Several, in fact.

I would never suggest that a person with a mental illness isn't fit to be in the military simply because they have bipolar disorder, or OCD, or panic attacks, etc. That would be discriminatory. Mentally ill people are as capable as anyone else of discharging the duties associated with being in the military. It is, in many ways, a job like any other. We wouldn't want to exclude the mentally ill from any single walk of life. That's not only unnecessary, it's unfair.

In this case, the newspaper reports, the U.S. is not just sending mentally ill people to do desk jobs in Berlin. They're sending people on psychotropic drugs into combat in Iraq, arguably the most dangerous, traumatizing war theater since Vietnam. I don't trust this adminstration to care about the value of our men and women in uniform, and to worry about their mental health needs at war or when they get home. (In fact, this article points to a disturbing trend of avoiding the diagnosis of PTSD, which will ultimately rob the service people of veteran's medical coverage when they return.)

And I wonder: If a Marine, say, comes to a psychiatric facility to be treated for PTSD after returning home from Iraq, and is then redeployed shortly after, is it possible their illness has really, truly been addressed? Or have they just been given meds and sent back in? Most of them have wanted to go back. Shouldn't we confront the psychological motivations that are prompting that desire? Trauma victims often want to return to the scene of the incident to exorcise demons. That's not a healthy way to go back into combat.

Finally, just because someone is on medication doesn't mean they're good to go. It can take years to get the right combination of meds, and being in a war zone while one's mood is fluctuating dangerously isn't helpful in treating the illness.

I wish I had more faith in our government and its Dept. of Defense to have the best interests of our troops at heart. But that's not how I see it. I'm guessing a nuanced understanding of the implications and overlap of mental illness and combat trauma is lacking. We're at war—soldiers are needed. That might take a perilous precedence.

Am I wrong to worry?

Posted by liz at 06:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

From Uma:

"Hi, Roller Coaster,

"If you are making small attempts at self harm during your periods, I think you do need to see a doctor now. This is a signal something is quite wrong, regardlesss of the pain of your menstral period.

"What I'm saying is, others feel pretty bad pain, but don't make attempts at self harm. That issue is something you really need to see a psychiatrist for and also talk with a therapist about. The depression you mentioned should also be addressed.

"Please don't worry about the stigma. SO many people have received help with problems like these. You are more important than any shame over this. And it may be something that can fairly easily be resolved.

"If not, medication might really help you. And I'm sure you want help. You need to explore different avenues for help: the psychiatric doctor being the first. Best wishes."

Thanks, Uma!

Posted by liz at 03:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I know I'm a month late, but I simply must comment on the article about Philadelphia in Elle Decor, which my boyfriend's mother sent to us from L.A. (Thanks Marie!)

Here are the choicest quotes from the piece:

"Today Philadelphia is percolating with a more youthful sensibility that's both cosmopolitan and neighborly. It's a welcome paradox: a kind of Madrid on the Delaware River."

"Then stop in at La Colombe. The mood of the 12-year-old cafe and roaster ... is cosmopolitan and upbeat—call it noninvasive Euro-chic."

"Not only does the public transportation system run smoothly and extensively..."

Hahahahahahahahahaha. Oh, sorry. Where were we?

Stephen Starr had this to say: "The city has the same DNA as New York, the same well-traveled people with money who are hungry for new experiences."

I'm hungry for a cheesesteak that doesn't cost $100. I'm going to the cart at 15th and Chestnut to get one, where I'll mix my DNA with Philly's finest, including that guy on the vent.

[Photo courtesy JL Mcvay via Flickr.]

Posted by liz at 12:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

At first, the article about schizophrenia in today's New York Times seems promising. It raises the question: Are we overmedicating people with the disease? Are doctors prescribing too much medication and too quickly?

These are valid questions, especially because schizophrenia remains clinically mysterious.

The party line is that schizophrenia is a severe illness that requires aggressive medical treatment. I agree with that, yet I'm open to the idea that there might be alternative ways to address the illness, particularly as science advances and we better understand its etiology.

But coverage of this particular study, I think, is misleading.

The conclusion that some schizophrenics do better without meds is based on Dr. John Bola's review of six long-term studies involving 623 people. Two studies said patients did better with the meds. Four suggested patients without did better. But, writes the NYT's Benedict Carey: "Over all, the findings of the studies were a wash, showing no significant advantage for either group."

If indeed the findings were a wash, with no statistical significance, why am I reading about it in the New York Times? "A wash" should not prompt a conversation that could lead to seriously ill people giving up their medications.

In addition, the studies only included people taking older antipsychotics like Haldol. The new drugs, like Risperdal, Zyprexa, Seroquel, etc., were not included. This is ridiculous. The newer drugs are now the first line of defense against the illness. It's misleading to demand a new look at treatment based on outdated treatment modalities. We might as well have a conversation about treating pneumonia with leeches.

From the piece:

"'My hypothesis is that there is a subgroup of patients who are drug-free responders, probably because they have a mild form the disorder,' Dr. Bola, who has argued against aggressive drug treatment in the past, said in an interview. 'I think the implications of this are that we need to be additionally careful about medicating people after their first psychotic episode if there's reason to think they could' function without medication."

I'd argue that, given the problems with diagnosis of illnesses like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder (which can also cause psychosis), people with a "mild form" of schizophrenia might not have schizophrenia at all.

A headline like "Revisiting Schizophrenia: Are Drugs Always Needed?" is kind of sexy in these days of complete (and justified) disgust with the pharmaceutical industry. But I've seen too many lives destroyed by this illness, too many people who wind up in jail or on the streets because they refuse to take meds.

Let's not dump those pills so quickly. At least not based on this article.

Posted by liz at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Natalie sends in this advice for Roller Coaster:

"Since these feelings happen only during your cycle, I think it may be normal to go on an emotional jag.

"However, the intensity only you know. If you feel the intensity is unusual, have your mother take you to the psychiatrist.

"Mood stabilizers might work for you.

"On the other hand, 16 is awfully young. I'd rather you tough it out and wait until you are 18 or 19 and see if the problem is still there. Then take action.

"In the meantime, don't be ashamed. Easier said than done, but we all have shame about out bodies and a mind that is a little out of our control at times."

The contest ends at 5 p.m. today, so send your entries soon.

Posted by liz at 10:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Headline:

Study: Women With Urinary Incontinence More Likely to Be Depressed

Hmm. I wonder why.

Interestingly, urinary incontinence in this context includes "stress incontinence," defined as "leaking urine due to movements such as coughing, laughing, or sneezing." I hesitate to say this, but that happens to me at least once a month. I don't think that's why I'm depressed, though. I usually think it's funny. Sometimes I say to whichever companion I'm with: "Hey, I just peed a little. Tee-hee!" I'm sure they think it's charming.

Depression, Urinary Incontinence Tied?

Posted by liz at 03:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today at Furious Seasons fellow alt-weekly journalist and mental health blogger Philip Dawdy points to an excellent article in the San Diego Tribune. Mentally ill people on meds are being sent back into combat, which is such a bad idea on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin.

Some troops headed back to Iraq are mentally ill

Posted by liz at 01:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the past month in Pocatello, Idaho, police have had to deal with two suicide-by-cop incidents, in which would-be victims threatened police officers and hoped to be shot and killed in response. Both incidents were resolved peacefully, which tells me the cops in Pocatello are doing something right.

Suicide-by-cop isn't extremely common, but when it ends fatally, it's often as a result of poor police training. Other times it's simply a tragic fact that the police have to protect themselves.

I'm encouraged by these two cases, as well as other recent cases that show officers using restraint and trying to understand the motivation of the person who's being aggressive. And say what you will about the Taser, but it's better than being shot with a gun.

Here are some recent suicide-by-cop headlines:

Man Pleads Guilty In Mall Shooting, Says He Sought 'Suicide By Cop' [WNBC]
Police On Alert After Alleged 'Suicide By Cop' Attempts [HometownChannel.com]
Taser Ends Standoff [Delaware Online]
Live Oak shooting justified [Marysville-Yuba City Appeal Democrat]
Patrolman kills teen in self-defense [Trentonian]

Posted by liz at 12:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Last night's dream was pretty weird. I dreamt that Suge Knight, head of Death Row Records, came over to my house. Now mind you, I'm not a huge hip-hop fan. I did have a mad crush on Tupac, who was on Death Row (and who some conspiracy theorists believe was killed by Knight). And I have my favorite hip-hop artists: Outkast, Kanye West, Black Star and, of course, the Roots. But that's pretty predictable and boring white-girl taste, right? Yeah, I thought so.

In the dream, however, I had a niiiice crib, outfitted like a rap star's might be. I guess that's why Suge wanted to come over. He didn't have his trademark cigar, but otherwise he looked pretty much the same as in life. I was intimidated, but happy to see him. He brought a lush blue monogrammed towel with him. It was rolled up. He handed me one side and said, "Try to pull." I did, but I couldn't get it unrolled.

Bottom line: I spent last night playing towel tug-of-war with Suge Knight. Wowza.

Posted by liz at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

From Gena:

"Dear RC,

"If you had allergies, would you hesitate to get them treated? A person might not have allergies all the time, but when they do, that person can be miserable. The medicine might make their allergies feel better.

"The same can be true for what you are experiencing. You might not need medicine, but be sure to get it checked out. You will glad you did. And remember you are not alone, there are lots of people in the same position as you.

"Good luck."

I'm extending the contest into today, and possibly tomorrow. So keep sending ’em in.

Posted by liz at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I have to keep using exclamation marks whenever I get a contest entry. It's my way of getting y'all jazzed up. This, from beagles:

"My advice, Roller Coaster:

"Go to a psychitrist. Sounds like depression with a cap D. Suicidal ideation with thoughts of cutting? Get ye to professional.

"This can be an adventure. You get to see the doctor's waiting room. You will see the fish tank; what the receptionist is wearing; see if the other dudes sitting for their appointments look like wierdos, and read about Eminem or Heath Ledger in People mag...hey, can I come along?

"Plus, there isn't much downside, is there? 16 or 60: no shame in antidepressents in 2006. Age ain't nothin' but a number, Roller.

"If you are ashamed and closeted (also natural sometimes) this kinda stuff is on a need to know basis. Always!

"Research the internet for bipolar and other mental health sites and support groups, also local support groups. Read about depression and manic depression. A twisted mind is a terrible thing to waste!

"Hang in there, Roller! Another tip: big breath inward through your nose, then big exhale when those monthly cramps creep up one by one."

Posted by liz at 05:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Still having the contest. This just in from Sean:

"Dear Roller Coaster,

"Trust me - It is a much sadder state of affairs when a 16-year-old girl thinks about self-injury and is missing out on a lot of the passions and exuberance of the teenage years.

"You're assuming that you'll be given medication. That's not necessarily the case. There are now non-medication options that can be helpful - light boxes for example.

"There is another thing to consider. Some forms of depression are life-long, and often begin in the teen years. Some, such as Bipolar Disorder (formerly known as Manic-Depressive Illness) is a disorder that gets steadily worse with time unless it is arrested by medical treatment.

"Bipolar and some other forms of depression don't need an external cause to kick in. All it needs is a chemical switch in the brain that impairs proper neural function in part of the geography. Sometimes there can be external triggers -- a menstrual period or even something as benign as the seasonal change of light as the days get longer or shorter.

"I'm not a therapist. Neither am I an expert on depressive illnesses. But I wish I had gotten my bipolar diagnosis when I was 16 instead of 55, when it had a chance to progress to the point that it was causing significant problems in my life.

"Your Mom is right, and like all Moms she will do anything to help her child. She wants to help you by getting you the services of an expert in mood disorders. Given all that you are missing when you are in a depressed state, you shouldn't pass up an opportunity to get help.

"You've been on the roller coaster long enough. It's time for the ride to end."

That's a long one. Impressive. Who's next?

Posted by liz at 04:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

From Queen Bitch of the Universe:

"Rollercoaster--

"Do you think you should do something about this? There are a lot of things that you could do, but sometimes the cure is worse than the disease. I think what you should do is be very careful
as far as doing anything. Would cutting yourself cause you more problems in the long-run as opposed to something drastic like taking hormones that would prevent you from getting your period?

"I think you should keep learning abou